Holland

This is the second time that we've found ourselves "in Holland" and, although it isn't what we had planned for, we wouldn't trade it for anything. Our beautiful girls have touched and enriched our lives in ways that only they could and we could not feel more thankful for the incredible blessing that it has been to journey to Holland. 

Claire at 2 days old

We found out minutes after Claire was born that her doctor suspected that she may have been born with a little extra piece of Justin or I. We received confirmation this morning that Claire does, in fact, have Trisomy 21 (also called Down syndrome).  Down syndrome occurs when an individual has a full or partial extra copy of chromosome 21. This additional genetic material alters the course of development and causes the characteristics associated with Down syndrome. For the last week, we have been absorbing as much information as we can but there is still so much to learn and, admittedly, much of the information has been a surprise to us. There is so much that we didn't know. I will be sharing some of this information in later posts so that those who would like to can learn along with us.

Already in her few short days, Claire has captivated our hearts. It is difficult to put into words but there is something so special about the way that she looks at us, the way that she smiles no matter what is taking place, and the way that she insists on pushing past all of our expectations to show us who she is and what she is capable of. We can tell already that she has something very special to offer our family and this world and we look forward to the future excitedly and with great thankfulness for this special gift that we have been given to see and experience the world in a new way and from a new perspective.  

"Welcome to Holland"
c 1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland."