Someone's Life Depends on It

A look into what we've been learning .... an adoption update .... and a LONG-awaited update on Miss Claire <3.



Isn't it funny how we can hear the same words / stories / Scriptures over and over and over but it isn't until we live it out that we finally have that "ah hah" moment? I don't know about you but this happens to me ALL the time!

The Scripture references adoption quite often in reference to our relationship with the Father and how we are "adopted" as His children through the sacrifice of His Son. As we are on our own journey of adoption, the parallels seem to just keep coming and coming. Some of them we are currently walking through and some we are yet to, but in our classes and in talking to other families, we have learned some really powerful things!

1. He loved you before He even knew you.

Amelia's medical record and photos haven't been updated since she was four months old (almost a year to-the-day ago) and yet we love her with a passion I can't even explain. There is so much that we don't know about her (we quite literally know next-to-nothing), yet our hearts ache for her. It doesn't matter what we find out when we finally meet her; what she is like, what medical issues she may have, she is OURS and we are in love!

Let that sink in ..... He loves you - all of you <3.  Because you're YOU; not because of anything you do or don't do, not because of the way that you look, not because of your IQ, not because of what you are or aren't capable of but just because you are.

2. He knows what is best for you, even if you don't know it ... yet.

We have read many stories about children in institutions being terribly mistreated, tied to their beds or to toilets, terrible abuse, malnutrition, lice and untreated parasites, babies left in their cribs day in and day out, the list goes on and on, and children die ... often. We see posts all the time of children who were listed and pass away, there was even a disclaimer in our application that we could do all of this and our child could pass away before we even get there, there just isn't care available for children with special needs. Families have shared with us that their children came home to the United States and don't even cry! They have cried so much without a response that they've stopped crying, even in response to pain (one story a mom shared with me, her daughter's hand was slammed in a car door and absolutely no tears were shed)!! And despite all of that, when their adoptive parents arrive to get them, the children often don't want to leave! They don't know anything but the institution, it is familiar to them and, in many cases, they have never seen outside of the four walls that they are in.

Many countries require the young children to voice that they want to go with the adoptive parents before the parents are able to leave the country with them. We have seen quite a few prayer request posts of parents who have fallen in love with their child, fundraised to the extent that it consumed their lives (often alienating family and friends in the process), left their other children, and flew across the world to adopt their child, and then arriving to find that their child doesn't want to leave and begging us all to pray that their unwilling child will want them.

He loves you ... He has something amazing for you, sometimes you don't even know what you're missing. But it does take great faith, a step into the unknown. He waits patiently for you to say yes to Him.

3. He loves you even when you aren't ready to love Him back.

Even if the children do take the leap of faith to leave with their adoptive family, especially for older children, the process of learning to let the walls down and to let their parents in takes TIME - sometimes years. I read blog posts through tears about parents who have waited and waited and patiently loved their child (only to receive anger and resentment in return) and the joy that they feel when months (or years) later, they receive the smallest glimpse of affection from them in return. It truly is beautiful! It is a long and painful process - but the reward is GREAT!

He patiently waits for you, He loves you regardless of the return.

4. Adoption is COSTLY!

$35,000 ... half a year's wages, three new cars, five years worth of private school tuition, two years worth of mortgage payments ... no matter how you look at it, adoption COSTS! And it's probably the #1 reason that most people run the other way when someone brings it up! It is, very literally, our only obstacle and it is truly a scary one - it's the reason we never even considered it until now - especially when we have student loan debt and a car that is, quite literally, at the end of its life. But then we look into the eyes of that sweet little girl and we realize that we HAVE to try - her very life depends on someone doing it! And the awareness and support for individuals with special needs isn't yet there for adoption to come from within her country. Fundraising ideas consume our thoughts, our dreams, our Pinterest, every spare moment is spent crafting or trying to make something we can sell, our budgets have all been cut, all of our social media has become consumed with fundraisers and updates, we can tell that certain friends have started "avoiding" us (we don't blame them!), we have become "crazy" of sorts ... but we know that that little life depends on it! And it's in these moments that we realize that we would do anything for that one life. That one life, who we don't even "know," who may or may not even like us,  who may or may not be what others would find "pretty or smart or athletic or _____," who may never reciprocate our love, who costs so much ... but who is far more than worth it.

It is such a small picture of what He did for you - He gave EVERYTHING for your one life and it COST Him, oh did it cost! He was bruised, He was spit on, He was despised, He was tortured, He gave His very life but He never once questioned whether or not you were worth it!

"I'll remind myself

Of all that You've done

And the life I have

Because of Your son

Love came DOWN and rescued me

Love came down and set me free

I am Yours

I am forever Yours

Mountains high or valley low

I sing out and remind my soul

I am Yours

I am forever Yours"

-Kari Jobe

I can NOT wait to hold that little girl in my arms <3. 

Adoption Update:

We have already acquired all of our documents, completed our home study, and completed all of our required adoption education.  We also have gone through all of the steps to gain approval from the Ministry in Poland to adopt Amelia as long as the rest of the process goes as planned. We submitted our i800a for USCIS (Immigration / Homeland Security) approval last week, this is the longest part of the process and is expected to take about 50 days.  Simultaneously, we are compiling our dossier to send to Poland. It is almost complete and ready to send, we are just waiting on a couple of documents to come back. Once we have everything, we will make a trip to Olympia to have everything apostilled and then we have to submit it to our agency with a $10,000 check and they will send it to Poland to be translated and reviewed.  We expect this entire process will be completed during the time that we are waiting for our approval from USCIS so it *should* not delay us at all. Once we have that approval, we will just be waiting for our court date in Poland. Our agency expects us to travel at the end of May or in June.

We started a $10K in 10 days campaign on Facebook to raise the money needed in order to submit the dossier. We began on April 1 with a goal of submitting our dossier on my birthday, April 10 [I can't imagine a better birthday present!!! ... well maybe other than holding her in my arms ;)]. It doesn't look like we will quite be able to make that goal but we are CLOSE and so many have been so very generous.

After this next $10K is paid, we will have about $20K left to raise. We had a very successful photoshoot fundraiser, we are making/selling headbands, we have a parent's night out coming up on Saturday, I have done a couple of graphic design jobs, we have ordered supplies to make some beautiful necklaces (info to come soon!), we have a silent auction and lunch coming up on 4/25, we are looking at dates for a potential garage sale and/or car wash, and I'm sure we will keep coming up with more until we reach our goal [because someone's life depends on it!]! To date, we have $3,306 in our FSP (http://reecesrainbow.org/89467/sponsorhowell-3) and $275 cash on hand and we have already spent just under $5,000 of our own money. God IS faithful, we took a leap committing to Amelia with only two months to come up with $35,000 and no way of knowing how He was going to provide us with the necessary finances and it is HAPPENING! Thank you for so many of you who have been our answer to prayer <3. 

Please continue to cover us and this process in prayer - Amelia desperately needs someone to come and rescue her and we don't want her waiting one day longer than necessary!!!  I'm already praying over our trip - I don't know HOW we are going to leave Poland knowing there are still kids there who desperately need someone to come for them. I'm truly terrified of what we might find and I know my heart is going to break, it already is so burdened for these kids.

Claire Update:

I know you've been waiting way too long for a Claire update ....

Claire is doing AMAZING!  She is rocking therapy and she is such a joy! She has had ZERO new medical issues other than that she is still fighting the cold - 7 weeks and going strong on that one :-/. I feel like quite the zombie but we will take it, so so so much to be thankful for with this little one!

The only real challenge we have right now is that she's eating typical volumes for a 9 month old but she's still having to use the preemie bottle nipple so feedings take a looooooong time and restrict our day a bit but it's such a minor thing that we can't even complain! 

In physical therapy she is working on being on her hands/knees, reaching, core stability, putting weight through her legs, and holding things with BOTH hands (for some reason she does NOT like this). We even tried climbing stairs last week (she wasn't a fan!!).

In speech therapy (feeding), we are working on liquids and pureés. Our newest skill that we started working on last week is eating liquids in a seated position (still with a preemie nipple). Up until now, she has only been able to eat in a "side-lying" position. We get to try "chewing" for the first time next week! I am also hoping that she learns to hold her own bottle soon!!!

Here are some therapy pictures from this week:

Skill: Reaching!

Skill: Sitting and reaching

Skill: Balance while sitting and reaching

Skill: Holding things with BOTH hands

Her star on the wall! [Decorated by big sister, Anna]

And some more pictures just for fun!:

Claire modeling one of the headbands that we made as a fundraiser

Claire and her siblings with their Easter baskets

Friends, we have never been more touched by all of the love, support, kind words, and generosity.  THANK YOU for being our Cheerleaders and for taking the time to read about our journey <3.  Have a fantastic week!  Fight the good fight, we are cheering YOU on as well!!!

Five Loaves and Two Fish

We have a very special story to share with you!

First a quick little summary for those who aren't yet familiar with our story. Our family is in the process of adopting a little girl from Poland. Amelia was abandoned at birth by her parents because she was born with Down syndrome and has spent her entire 16 months in an institution. Our heart breaks for her and the thousands of other abandoned children with special needs. We have begun working on some fundraisers to raise the $30,000 needed to bring Amelia home.

On Sunday, eight families came out to have their spring/Easter photos taken and 100% of the money for the pictures went to help bring Amelia home. The families were all very generous and two of the families we had never even met before! We were truly humbled and so blessed at the outpouring of love. But there was one special girl in particular that we wanted you to hear about.

Meet Madison, she's 8.

Sunday was the first and only time that I have met her and her family. She is a very sweet little girl. After her pictures were done, Madison handed me $25. Thinking it was for their photo session, I told her mom thank you. That's when she told me that the money was not for their photos but was a gift of Madison's OWN money that she wanted to give to Amelia to help her come home. 

[Are you crying too? I still can't think about it without crying.]

I kept thinking about Madison and sharing with others about the sweet little girl who gave such a generous and thoughtful gift. Yesterday, her mom sent me a message with the rest of the story.

Madison (8), her mom, and her little sisters

On the way to the photo session, Madison's mom, Tara, was explaining to the girls where they were going and why. She told them about Amelia and how much money we needed to raise. Madison excitedly offered to give her money but it wasn't long before she started to feel discouraged as she realized that her gift, although very large to a little girl, was so small in comparison to the full amount that is needed. Her wise mom knew immediately what to do, she told her the story of the five loaves and two fish.

When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, “Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?” He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.

Philip answered him, “It would take more than half a year’s wages to buy enough bread for each one to have a bite!”

Another of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up, “Here is a boy with five small barley loaves and two small fish, but how far will they go among so many?”

Jesus said, “Have the people sit down.” There was plenty of grass in that place, and they sat down (about five thousand men were there). Jesus then took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed to those who were seated as much as they wanted. He did the same with the fish.

When they had all had enough to eat, he said to his disciples, “Gather the pieces that are left over. Let nothing be wasted.” So they gathered them and filled twelve baskets with the pieces of the five barley loaves left over by those who had eaten.

John 6:5-14

That's when Madison, all on her own, began to pray over her money. That God would use her small gift and that He would multiply it to bring Amelia home. She took her gift and, although it seemed so small in comparison to what was needed, it was all that she had and she gave it with confidence believing with all her heart that God would multiply it.

[[If you weren't crying before, I bet you are now!!]]

I am so deeply touched by this little girl and her message. She reminded me that when we are faithful in giving God what we have, he multiplies it in a way that only He can and provides abundantly for our needs (with extra!). The adoption process is overwhelming, not only financially, but also mentally physically and emotionally, probably much like the disciples felt overwhelmed at the cost of having to feed five thousand people! I love that Phillip specifically says that it would take "half a year's wages," almost exactly what we are trying to raise for Amelia. If Jesus cared enough to provide for the crowd's hunger, surely He cares for Amelia [and the thousands of other children with special needs who have been abandoned] to find the love and care that she needs. It is such a fitting story.

Thank you Madison (and Tara), not only for your gift, but for reminding us to keep our eyes on Jesus. We will never forget Madison's gift and I can't wait to share the story with Amelia one day. 

For those who would like to help multiply Madison's gift, our tax-deductible FSP link is: http://reecesrainbow.org/89467/sponsorhowell-3

And for those who haven't "met" Amelia yet, here she is (#bringAmeliahome):

 

And just for fun, here are some of Claire's Easter pictures from Sunday:

Have a blessed day!  As always, thank you for taking the time to cheer us on.

We have a BIG Surprise!

 

 

Amelia was born on November 19, 2013 in Poland with ten fingers, ten toes, beautiful blue eyes, and Down syndrome. Her file says that her parents "did not accept a sick baby" and she was placed in an instituition when she was just weeks old. She is now 16 months old and has been waiting far too long for her forever family. Well, we are finally HERE!

Please help us bring this sweet girl home and SOON. She desperately needs access to therapies, better nutrition, and medical care as soon as possible.

A special needs adoption looks a little different than a typical, international adoption simply because there aren't many families willing to adopt children with special needs - the children are the ones waiting to be matched, not the parents. Because of this, Amelia is already "ours" and we can bring her home as soon as we can get all of our paperwork approved by both countries and have all of our  funding. Of course we ALL want that process to be as quick as possible so we are moving ahead at lightning speed, our social worker told us that we completed the fastest home study she has ever seen and we are on track to do the same with our dossier. We attribute it to a lot of hard work but there was also a whole lot of favor! There's just not much else to help explain how we were able to complete a 3-4 month process in just 2 weeks. 

One of the scariest parts of stepping out in faith is that first step! It feels much like walking off of a ledge without being able to see if there's anything there to catch you. It takes a lot of faith, a really deep breath, maybe even a squint of your eyes, and a JUMP. We are confident that God is calling us to bring little Miss Amelia into our family and we are excited to watch Him make it all come together in a way that only He can. We "stepped off the ledge" by committing to be her family, she is no longer listed for adoption and she is counting on us to see this through. It isn't easy for anyone to ask for help but we believe that because God is calling us to step out in faith, he is also stirring the hearts of people to come alongside and help us. We cannot do this alone. 

The road ahead is full of paperwork and fundraising, the cost of Amelia's adoption will be close to $35,000. We have already paid a good portion of that in application fees, preparing documents, payments to our agency, and on our home study. We have about $30,000 left to raise. That is the only downside to a quick adoption, there is less time to fundraise so we absolutely need your help to get this done as quickly as possible so we can get this girl home. 

Ways you can help:

- Prayer: Pray that we would have favor with our government and theirs and that the adoption process would go smoothly and quickly. Pray that our faith would remain unwavering.

- Donate to our FSP (Family Sponsorship Program): Donations are completely tax deductible, you will receive a receipt and be able to write 100% of your donation off on your 2015 taxes! The link to our FSP page on Reece's Rainbow is: http://reecesrainbow.org/89467/sponsorhowell-3 (if you aren't familiar with our family story, use this link to find out more about our family as well). We will be making some pretty artwork to hang in Amelia's room that will contain the names of everyone who helped bring her home!

Please note: Donations made via PayPal will incur a 3% reduction in the donation toward Amelia's adoption to cover those Paypal fees. Donations made via check  are given at 100% (Checks should be made payable to Reece’s Rainbow and mailed to PO Box 277 Monrovia, MD 21770. Be sure to write that it is for Mimi/the Howells). Also, we will not be able to see who has donated until later in the process (they give us one big list after all of the donations are in) so, if you'd like us to know that you donated, please send us a message so that we can say thank you!

- Help us with fundraising: Do you have an idea for a fundraiser? Do you have a product or service to donate for either a giveaway or an auction? Are you willing to ask for donations, either monetary or items for a giveaway or auction (we are happy to provide you with a request letter)? Do you have a project that we could help you with or a job that we could do in exchange for a donation to our FSP? [Again, as long as payment is made through our FSP, all donations are 100% tax deductible!]. Let's get creative!

- Share our Facebook/Blog posts: Help us spread the word! You never know who might see a post that you shared and be willing to donate, pray, or even just continue the cycle of sharing.

Things that aren't helpful:

- Saying things like "I don't know how you're going to do it.": Keep it positive. There is an enemy and he loves to stir up confusion and doubt. We need to hear things that are faith-building. We don't know how we are going to do it either! Instead say something like, "You are going to make great parents for this little girl. When things get hard, I will be right here to help."

- Saying "Please let me know what I can do" (anyone else agree that this phrase should be removed from our vocabulary?!): If your heart is stirred or you feel like God is calling you to help in any way, we graciously accept! There is no "wrong" way to help, it is all a blessing and we (and Amelia!) appreciate it very much. 

Finally, we have to be VERY careful with the use of Amelia (Mimi)'s pictures and name.  If you'd like to include her name or images in a post, blog, etc.  PLEASE ask first.

THANK YOU for taking the time to read about our new journey!  We are beyond excited. Our hearts are longing to meet her, to hold her in our arms, and to finally bring her home.  Thank you for coming along for the ride!!!!

"Be strong in the Lord and never give up hope.

You're gonna do great things

I already know

God's got his hand on you so 

don't live life in fear

forgive and forget

but don't forget why you're here

Take your time and pray

These are the words I would say"

-Sidewalk Prophets

"Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior"

-Hillsong United

<3 The Howells

Nine Months

It has been an entire month since our last update, we are living the busy life!!!

Claire is NINE months old today, she is 15lb 15oz (14th percentile) and 26in (5th percentile).

This month she started sitting up all by herself, "army" crawling, and she got two new teeth (both of the bottom/front ones).  She is officially on the move!

She is ROCKING her therapies, talking up a storm, and stealing hearts with her smile everywhere she goes. This month she celebrated her first World Down Syndrome Day (3/21), we all wore blue and yellow in her honor.

She has had a cold for over 4 weeks now but she isn't letting it slow her down [although I can't say the same for mommy's lack of sleep!].  Three different nebulizer medications and two courses of steroids and it's still hanging on!  She's a trooper and hopefully soon, it will all be behind us.

As always, thank you for cheering us on!  We appreciate YOU.

Eight Months

Time is FLYING! Is anyone else shocked that Claire is already eight months old?

Her growth has really taken off in the last two months, something that I attribute largely to her learning to breastfeed and being able to breastfeed her as much as she wanted. We haven't gotten much sleep but it's been worth it! Are you ready for her stats?!!!!

She is 25.6 inches (8th percentile) long and weighs 15lb 9 oz (15th percentile). She is wearing 3-6 month tops, 0-3 month bottoms, and she finally fits in newborn size shoes!

She is army crawling now and holds up her head like a champ. She sees something she wants and is determined to find a way to get it! She is just beginning to put weight through her arms but with her determination to get around, it shouldn't be long. She LOVES attention and comes alive as soon as she thinks someone might be heading her direction. She's a big talker, loves kisses, and has the best smiles.

After a month of searching for answers about her swallowing (visiting specialists and having testing), and some disappointing news about her lungs, we have switched back to pumping and bottles with a preemie nipple. Please pray that her lungs begin to heal and that she won't need as much medicine. She had gotten used to breast feeding so it has been a challenging week while she was adjusting but she is getting more used to our new (old) routine every day.

Here she is!!

And a little comparison:
Anna (3mo) and Claire (8mo) wearing the same outfit <3

Claire Always Gets There

Taking a week off for vacation means that we've been busy playing appointment catch up! Claire has had a busy, busy week.

We have been working with speech, pulmonology, GI, and even Claire's ENT to try to figure out a feeding plan that allows Claire to eat safely and protect her lungs. Everyone believes that she is still struggling with aspiration so we have decided to do another swallow study (her fourth!). This time we will spend longer trying to find more answers as to when (and hopefully why!) she is aspirating so that we can develop a plan to help protect (and hopefully begin to heal) her lungs, currently they are getting worse so it's important that we make some changes. Depending on what we find during the swallow study, she may have an endoscopy, laryngoscopy, and bronchoscopy done all at the same time so that we can gather as much information as possible. She had a scope done on Saturday to check her vocal cords and they looked good! For now, we have had to stop nursing her to sleep and during the night, so we have all been VERY tired this week as she gets used to the new routine, she has shed lots of tears. Because aspiration generally happens most often when babies are fatigued, this was just a small compromise so that we can continue to breastfeed, at least for now. She is still on twice/day breathing treatments for asthma.

Additionally, we saw the urologist on Monday because of Claire's recurring UTIs and abnormal renal ultrasounds. Truthfully, I thought at the most he would be concerned that she doesn't fully empty her bladder but he noticed when reviewing her ultrasounds with us that her kidneys appear echogenic and feels that it's absolutely necessary that Claire have a sedated procedure where they place an IV and inject an isotope into her bloodstream to see if her kidneys are damaged. We will be at Mary Bridge for an entire day (9am-3pm) for this procedure.

We also saw Claire's surgeon this week, she said Claire looks fantastic and we are able to completely STOP irrigations and dilations unless she doesn't pass stool for more than 24 hours, I'm sure you can imagine how excited we are for this news!!!

Finally, Claire has gained great weight, in fact, she has gained nearly too much! It is important that we "go easy" on Claire's heart and lungs because of all that they have been through. This means that we should make changes to her weight slowly. Since we've already stopped nursing during the night this week, we are hoping that is all of the changes that we need to make in order to slow down enough to make that happen.

Altogether Claire is doing very well! We get to celebrate how far she has come every single day, she is such an amazing little girl and she has come so far! It has been a little bit of a discouraging week, getting some unexpected news about her lungs and kidneys but everything pales in comparison to what she has already been through and we know that she will conquer these challenges too. I voiced some disappointment at one appointment this week with her trouble to swallow even pureés (because we're running out of ways that we can safely feed her) and her GI doc reminded me that "Claire always gets there!" and it's true, she always does. I am excited that we now have a plan to get answers so that we can help her thrive yet again!

As always friends, thank you for praying for us, for encouraging us, and for offering your support. The appointments, therapies, research, and added routines that, oftentimes, consume our day(s) could easily leave us feeling isolated but your little notes, comments, and messages of encouragement in the midst of it all remind us that we aren't alone and we can't thank you enough - nothing is too small and nothing goes unnoticed. What a story we will have to tell one day!!

She isn't too sure about putting weight through her arms just yet

She was sitting in her car seat but REALLY
wanted that piece of paper and she found a way
to get it! Mama cried. She's getting so big!

Wearing red for CHD Awareness Week and hamming it up
at her ENT appointment

Pretty Sunday dress

GI / Surgery Appointment

First teething cracker, she loved it!

The whole family wearing red to celebrate
FOUR months post OHS and CHD Awareness Week

"Hi, my name is Claire and I like to fold myself in half."

Have a great week friends!!!!  <3

Minnie Mouse!

We have made it home from Claire's first VACATION! It was also a family first and truly amazing.

A very special "Disney Angel" who follows Claire's blog and Facebook page reached out to us and arranged a special date with Minnie Mouse for the girls, gave us lots of tips about the parks, and even got us all souveniers. Claire qualified to have her stroller marked as a wheel chair AND they gave us a special pass so that she didn't have to be near crowds/germs. The way that it worked was, if we got to a ride and the line was 10 minutes long, we would still wait the 10 minutes but could wait without standing in the line - when we came back 10 minutes later, we would skip the line and hop right on. We used lots of hand sanitizer and antibacterial wipes but really, the parks were EMPTY which really helped keep the anxiety low, it was an amazing trip!

Claire watched her first Superbowl sitting outside on a restaurant patio and she even got to touch a dolphin. We truly were spoiled in so many ways!

Here are some pictures of her trip to Disneyland, Sea World, the beach, and the San Diego Zoo:

Waiting to board!

Kisses from Minnie Mouse

Our "Disney Angel," Tracy

Chip loved Claire too, he went out of his way to
say "hello" several times!  Behind Claire is Bart
(I think that was his name)... he also has Ds
and was so great with the kids. I love that anywhere we go,
we automatically have such a large "extended family" in the
Down syndrome community. Truly amazing people.

Sleepy Angel

Claire's first Minnie, she tried hard to sit up
so that she could get to her!

Yes, that's a real dolphin! She [Kallie] came to say "hello" to Claire <3.

Claire LOVES this book.

Sunglasses!

Tired on the plan ride home, it was a busy and FUN vacation.

We finally climbed into bed at 1:30 this morning (and Claire still woke up two more times after that) but we hit the ground running with a very full day. Claire has eight appointments this week [at least one every day except Sunday] to make up for the week we missed and to, hopefully, make some decisions and progress in regard to her eating/swallowing and breathing. We will update again after we get through them all.

As always, thank you for praying, supporting, and encouraging. We appreciate our "village" so, so very much!