Isn't it funny how we can hear the same words / stories / Scriptures over and over and over but it isn't until we live it out that we finally have that "ah hah" moment? I don't know about you but this happens to me ALL the time!
The Scripture references adoption quite often in reference to our relationship with the Father and how we are "adopted" as His children through the sacrifice of His Son. As we are on our own journey of adoption, the parallels seem to just keep coming and coming. Some of them we are currently walking through and some we are yet to, but in our classes and in talking to other families, we have learned some really powerful things!
1. He loved you before He even knew you.
Amelia's medical record and photos haven't been updated since she was four months old (almost a year to-the-day ago) and yet we love her with a passion I can't even explain. There is so much that we don't know about her (we quite literally know next-to-nothing), yet our hearts ache for her. It doesn't matter what we find out when we finally meet her; what she is like, what medical issues she may have, she is OURS and we are in love!
Let that sink in ..... He loves you - all of you <3. Because you're YOU; not because of anything you do or don't do, not because of the way that you look, not because of your IQ, not because of what you are or aren't capable of but just because you are.
2. He knows what is best for you, even if you don't know it ... yet.
We have read many stories about children in institutions being terribly mistreated, tied to their beds or to toilets, terrible abuse, malnutrition, lice and untreated parasites, babies left in their cribs day in and day out, the list goes on and on, and children die ... often. We see posts all the time of children who were listed and pass away, there was even a disclaimer in our application that we could do all of this and our child could pass away before we even get there, there just isn't care available for children with special needs. Families have shared with us that their children came home to the United States and don't even cry! They have cried so much without a response that they've stopped crying, even in response to pain (one story a mom shared with me, her daughter's hand was slammed in a car door and absolutely no tears were shed)!! And despite all of that, when their adoptive parents arrive to get them, the children often don't want to leave! They don't know anything but the institution, it is familiar to them and, in many cases, they have never seen outside of the four walls that they are in.
Many countries require the young children to voice that they want to go with the adoptive parents before the parents are able to leave the country with them. We have seen quite a few prayer request posts of parents who have fallen in love with their child, fundraised to the extent that it consumed their lives (often alienating family and friends in the process), left their other children, and flew across the world to adopt their child, and then arriving to find that their child doesn't want to leave and begging us all to pray that their unwilling child will want them.
He loves you ... He has something amazing for you, sometimes you don't even know what you're missing. But it does take great faith, a step into the unknown. He waits patiently for you to say yes to Him.
3. He loves you even when you aren't ready to love Him back.
Even if the children do take the leap of faith to leave with their adoptive family, especially for older children, the process of learning to let the walls down and to let their parents in takes TIME - sometimes years. I read blog posts through tears about parents who have waited and waited and patiently loved their child (only to receive anger and resentment in return) and the joy that they feel when months (or years) later, they receive the smallest glimpse of affection from them in return. It truly is beautiful! It is a long and painful process - but the reward is GREAT!
He patiently waits for you, He loves you regardless of the return.
4. Adoption is COSTLY!
$35,000 ... half a year's wages, three new cars, five years worth of private school tuition, two years worth of mortgage payments ... no matter how you look at it, adoption COSTS! And it's probably the #1 reason that most people run the other way when someone brings it up! It is, very literally, our only obstacle and it is truly a scary one - it's the reason we never even considered it until now - especially when we have student loan debt and a car that is, quite literally, at the end of its life. But then we look into the eyes of that sweet little girl and we realize that we HAVE to try - her very life depends on someone doing it! And the awareness and support for individuals with special needs isn't yet there for adoption to come from within her country. Fundraising ideas consume our thoughts, our dreams, our Pinterest, every spare moment is spent crafting or trying to make something we can sell, our budgets have all been cut, all of our social media has become consumed with fundraisers and updates, we can tell that certain friends have started "avoiding" us (we don't blame them!), we have become "crazy" of sorts ... but we know that that little life depends on it! And it's in these moments that we realize that we would do anything for that one life. That one life, who we don't even "know," who may or may not even like us, who may or may not be what others would find "pretty or smart or athletic or _____," who may never reciprocate our love, who costs so much ... but who is far more than worth it.
It is such a small picture of what He did for you - He gave EVERYTHING for your one life and it COST Him, oh did it cost! He was bruised, He was spit on, He was despised, He was tortured, He gave His very life but He never once questioned whether or not you were worth it!
"I'll remind myself
Of all that You've done
And the life I have
Because of Your son
Love came DOWN and rescued me
Love came down and set me free
I am Yours
I am forever Yours
Mountains high or valley low
I sing out and remind my soul
I am Yours
I am forever Yours"
-Kari Jobe
I can NOT wait to hold that little girl in my arms <3.
Adoption Update:
We have already acquired all of our documents, completed our home study, and completed all of our required adoption education. We also have gone through all of the steps to gain approval from the Ministry in Poland to adopt Amelia as long as the rest of the process goes as planned. We submitted our i800a for USCIS (Immigration / Homeland Security) approval last week, this is the longest part of the process and is expected to take about 50 days. Simultaneously, we are compiling our dossier to send to Poland. It is almost complete and ready to send, we are just waiting on a couple of documents to come back. Once we have everything, we will make a trip to Olympia to have everything apostilled and then we have to submit it to our agency with a $10,000 check and they will send it to Poland to be translated and reviewed. We expect this entire process will be completed during the time that we are waiting for our approval from USCIS so it *should* not delay us at all. Once we have that approval, we will just be waiting for our court date in Poland. Our agency expects us to travel at the end of May or in June.
We started a $10K in 10 days campaign on Facebook to raise the money needed in order to submit the dossier. We began on April 1 with a goal of submitting our dossier on my birthday, April 10 [I can't imagine a better birthday present!!! ... well maybe other than holding her in my arms ;)]. It doesn't look like we will quite be able to make that goal but we are CLOSE and so many have been so very generous.
After this next $10K is paid, we will have about $20K left to raise. We had a very successful photoshoot fundraiser, we are making/selling headbands, we have a parent's night out coming up on Saturday, I have done a couple of graphic design jobs, we have ordered supplies to make some beautiful necklaces (info to come soon!), we have a silent auction and lunch coming up on 4/25, we are looking at dates for a potential garage sale and/or car wash, and I'm sure we will keep coming up with more until we reach our goal [because someone's life depends on it!]! To date, we have $3,306 in our FSP (http://reecesrainbow.org/89467/sponsorhowell-3) and $275 cash on hand and we have already spent just under $5,000 of our own money. God IS faithful, we took a leap committing to Amelia with only two months to come up with $35,000 and no way of knowing how He was going to provide us with the necessary finances and it is HAPPENING! Thank you for so many of you who have been our answer to prayer <3.
Please continue to cover us and this process in prayer - Amelia desperately needs someone to come and rescue her and we don't want her waiting one day longer than necessary!!! I'm already praying over our trip - I don't know HOW we are going to leave Poland knowing there are still kids there who desperately need someone to come for them. I'm truly terrified of what we might find and I know my heart is going to break, it already is so burdened for these kids.
Claire Update:
I know you've been waiting way too long for a Claire update ....
Claire is doing AMAZING! She is rocking therapy and she is such a joy! She has had ZERO new medical issues other than that she is still fighting the cold - 7 weeks and going strong on that one :-/. I feel like quite the zombie but we will take it, so so so much to be thankful for with this little one!
The only real challenge we have right now is that she's eating typical volumes for a 9 month old but she's still having to use the preemie bottle nipple so feedings take a looooooong time and restrict our day a bit but it's such a minor thing that we can't even complain!
In physical therapy she is working on being on her hands/knees, reaching, core stability, putting weight through her legs, and holding things with BOTH hands (for some reason she does NOT like this). We even tried climbing stairs last week (she wasn't a fan!!).
In speech therapy (feeding), we are working on liquids and pureés. Our newest skill that we started working on last week is eating liquids in a seated position (still with a preemie nipple). Up until now, she has only been able to eat in a "side-lying" position. We get to try "chewing" for the first time next week! I am also hoping that she learns to hold her own bottle soon!!!
Here are some therapy pictures from this week:
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| Skill: Reaching! |
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| Skill: Sitting and reaching |
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| Skill: Balance while sitting and reaching |
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| Skill: Holding things with BOTH hands |
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| Her star on the wall! [Decorated by big sister, Anna] |
And some more pictures just for fun!:
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| Claire modeling one of the headbands that we made as a fundraiser |
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| Claire and her siblings with their Easter baskets |
Friends, we have never been more touched by all of the love, support, kind words, and generosity. THANK YOU for being our Cheerleaders and for taking the time to read about our journey <3. Have a fantastic week! Fight the good fight, we are cheering YOU on as well!!!
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